LOL at that last post

I publish those week-by-week things but they are really just laughable now, they have nothing to do with what I'm currently going through or what the baby is really like. They have been off for weeks, but this one is killing me- "6 and a half pounds" ?!?!?! Try 9 lbs, 6 oz according to the ultrasound I had yesterday. I am 2 centimeters dilated and having contractions and cramps every day. For this first time in this pregnancy, after everything that I've gone through, I am now just soooo cynical and sooo done. I don't understand why they would let us walk away at 9 pounds plus. My window for a vaginal delivery is rapidly closing and nobody seems to care much. They will let her get to 5,000 grams (11 pounds) before they intervene (supposedly, and as long as I am still a functioning human being). But the thing is, I am NOT feeling like a functional human being, I am depressed, and cranky, and in pain, swollen, and sick of having insomnia, and sick of going to a million doctors appointments and the hospital all the time and coming home every single time empty handed. I honestly feel like I have been so good this entire pregnancy, trying to be cheery and good-spirited no matter what got thrown my way (and oh my god, there was so much.... sciatica, having to quit work, high blood pressure scares, not gaining weight and actually LOSING weight in the beginning, being on too much medication for anyone's liking, etc etc) but this is just the limit!! They tested my blood again yesterday to see if they could prove that I was a undiagnosed gestational diabetic but every time I get checked I never have it (good for me, bad for my poor body that has to attempt to deliver the equivalent of a baby whale). I guess I will get those results back on Thursday when I have yet ANOTHER doctor's appointment. Sigh.